“Why did he do it?” “If only I had asked.” “I could have spent more time with her.” “But I never told him how I feel.“ These and many other questions race through your mind. They pop up when you least expect them, overlay a feeling of guilt and send you into a deep funk.
And I mean a really deep funk and really oppressive guilt. The type of funk which leaves you feeling as if you weigh a million pounds, making it difficult for you to move. Maybe it causes you to feel so sad that you cannot get out of bed, or off the couch. Perhaps you are the type of person who seeks solace in food, good old fashioned comfort food.
Whichever type of funk you may find yourself in, or no matter how oppressive your perceived guilt makes your feel, I am here to let you know you have options.
The guilt I am referring to is the guilt associated with the process of bereavement. Guilt, sorrow, anger, fear, shame, depression are all normal emotions associated with the loss of a loved one. Over the years I have learned that guilt grows exponentially when left untreated. You can do a really great job of feeding your guilt each time you call forth that emotion. Once called forth a feeding frenzy ensues and you are off and running.
However, you have what it takes to stop feeding that feeling, step out of line and remove yourself from that race.
Often, I have found that those who suffer from gripping guilt are struggling with the loss of a loved one, in particular a loved one who took their own life. A suicide. Many of you blame yourself for not doing enough for that person; your son, daughter, sister, brother, friend, mother, father, husband, wife and so on…
You blame yourself for missing the signs, or for not being more aware of what was going on in that person’s life. The list goes on and on and as the list grows, the amount of guilt you heap upon yourself becomes debilitating. Stop. Please stop.
Rather than beating yourself up and lamenting over what you “could have done”, focus on the things you can do in this moment. For example;
- Listen to thyself. Fully listen. Your still small voice has something to say to you.
- Trust what you hear. There will be words of comfort and wisdom for you to follow. Trust their guidance.
- Connect with your loved one. You may do so directly, or through the aid of a medium. Resistance is futile.
- Communicate to those who reach out to you. Communicate with equals parts listening/hearing and speaking.
Your loved ones want you to understand as much as they want to be understood. They want to feel good about their time on the earth plane as much as they want you to feel good about your time on the earth plane. And they want you to know life is too short to burden thyself with guilt.
Guilt is unnecessary and unhealthy. Allow your loved ones to guide the way to lightheartedness and joy. It makes them feel better when you feel better, so let’s do this! Make the decision to stop feeding your guilt and start living full tilt.
© 2020 ALL Rights Reserved. Listen To Thyself with Diane Marie Ford. Share this blog-post to your heart’s content, but please do not use it without my written permission. Thank you.