Cross The Road

This cartoon I recently came across gave me pause. Yes, it demonstrates a sense of levity but it also demonstrates truth.

It got me thinking about the number of times, throughout my years of counseling, I have been asked why. Why did my loved one cross the proverbial road and leave me? Why did my loved one get sick and die? Why did I not have a chance to say goodbye?

It also got me thinking about how these whys pertain to not only to people but our animals. Loss is loss. Grief is grief. And while, at the time of the death of a loved one we may not all be like the cool, calm, collected rooster speaking at the funeral, we can take comfort in knowing that our loved one who has crossed over to the other side remains accessible and open to connect. That’s a transformation in which we can revel and find comfort.

Lately there appears to be a greater number of family members of the animal persuasion “crossing the road.” Or, perhaps, there are more people openly sharing their grief and reaching out for support, than ever before.

I recall when our dog, Ramsey, died decades ago. I was devastated and in no position to show up for work. I called in a sick day. I was, after all, heartsick. Fast forward several years. Having been promoted to a position of Human Resources Manager, I was reviewing employee attendance records with my supervisor. Out of the blue, she brought up an incident of an employee who had called in sick because her dog died. I can still hear the tone in her voice… “Can you believe an employee actually called in sick because her dog died?” To which I responded, “Yes Pat, I can – that employee was me!”

The realization of how unacceptable it was to openly grieve over the loss of an animal several decades ago has paved the way and made my heart glad that as a society we have arrived at a place of acceptance. We can feel the importance of the bond between a person and an animal. I would also like to believe that hand-in-hand with acceptance, is the understanding of the how the grieving process can apply to any loss.

The depth of grief we may experience when our cat, dog, rabbit, gerbil, snake, mouse, and yes, even our chicken or rooster ‘crosses the road’ can be as deep and powerful as with any of our human loved ones.

We have evolved as a species and have allowed ourselves to open up to all types of relationships. In doing so, if we are attached to a certain being, we will grieve when that relationship comes to a physical end. We will need each other more than ever.

Although we may never know why Dave wanted to cross the road, we can rest assured that he is now, at last, on the other side. And just like those chickens can find a sense of levity in that knowing, I trust we will all find a sense of levity and comfort in knowing that life does go on in the afterlife and our loved ones, people and animals, are always available for connection.

Note about the other side: Chickens may refer to it as the other side, but I have been told by those in the spirit realm that there is no other side – there is only one side. Although we may be in different forms, we all reside on the same side.

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