People are dying every day – that’s a fact.
The population of the United States is approximately 319 million people. A little over two and a half million people die each year. Those numbers increase every year as the baby boomer generation continues to age.
Would it be safe to say then, that a majority of the baby boomer generation have experienced the death of several family members or friends over the years?
Experiencing the death of a loved is usually accompanied by grief, in some shape or form. Experiencing the loss of several family members or friends may equate to more grief than one is capable of handling.
Yes, grief is a part of the healing process; its stages are the necessary steps we must take to travel the arduous journey through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. There are those who do not know how to take that first step. They remain frozen in shock, or denial. Their perceived path may seem impossible, which results in feelings of confusion, numbness, or fearfulness; as if the mere thought of living life is totally overwhelming.
For example, Tom, the husband of a client of mine, who I’ll refer to as Nancy, was diagnosed with cancer seven years ago. She was by his side every step of the way – hoping he would beat the odds. She served as his ‘Florence Nightingale’ through thick and thin, until that fateful day when Tom transitioned to spirit.
Seven years had passed and Nancy had not been able to grieve. She had not even been able to begin the process of grieving. Though she had been by Tom’s side every day since he had been diagnosed, she remained stuck in denial and had been living each day in a state of confusion, fear; feeling displaced and lost. She was suffering from a chronic state of unbalance and depression. There were moments when she would allow her emotions to rise to the surface and would feel angry at Tom for leaving her, or angry at God for taking Tom. As quickly as she acknowledged her emotions, she would shut them down and retreat back to her feelings of confusion, numbness and fear because those feelings were known to her – they felt comfortable.
Though it had been seven years since Tom’s passing, Nancy and I began seeing each other only four months ago. She has recently allowed herself to be as vulnerable as possible, and she has begun to accept the fact that Tom, who is in spirit, and I, are teaching her the value of participating in the healing process, as we accompany her every step of the way. Nancy has begun to allow herself to feel and emote for the first time in a long time. Tom’s presence during our sessions provides guidance and hope – he now ‘serves’ her and he reminds her she is not alone. His reassurance and her willingness to think outside the proverbial box have provided her with the comfort and courage necessary to embark upon the arduous journey through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Together we take it one step at a time, one day at a time and allow all her relations in spirit to guide and support us along the way.
Death is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Grief is necessary. You do not have to go it alone.
©2016 ALL Rights Reserved. Listen To Thyself with Diane Marie Ford. May NOT be used for promotional purposes without the explicit written permission of the author.