Fitting in was never my bag. Though I longed to – I never did. I always marched to the beat of a different drummer – the drummer which is my soul’s essence.
I didn’t rail against society and its conventional standards. I longed to be seen as ‘normal’. My valiant attempts to ‘change’ and be like ‘them’ never worked.
I stood out.
I stood apart.
I wasn’t unpopular – I just never fit in.
Fitting in didn’t feel like a good fit.
Little did I know back in the day that by trying to fit in I was not being true to me/my soul’s essence.
Arriving at this realization was quite a journey – a journey through darkness, through thoughts of “ending it all, right here and right now”, through bottoming out and rising from the depths of despair. My will to live, coupled with the fearlessness to emerge from the safety of the closet, helped me to finally accept and love myself for who I am, once and for all.
A different drummer. A rebel. A maverick.
My ancestral council reminds me ‘it’ runs in my maternal bloodline… marching to the beat of a different drummer. Several members of my family made the attempt, but always retreated.
I am now supported by the spirit and fearlessness of those same family members as I beat loudly upon my drum.
How about you?
Do you sense something different about yourself?
The way you think?
The way you express your point of view?
Your beliefs?
Your choices?
Try as you might, you cannot fit your round peg into that square hole, yet you drive yourself mad with your numerous attempts to do so. You constantly wonder what is standing in your way, what is holding you back, what is stopping you from achieving your dreams.
Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps it may be your true authentic essence tripping up your unknowing, fearful self?
Perhaps you simply require reassurance that being different is acceptable by any standards. With a little coaxing and encouragement from your own spirit family tree, you will realize you are exactly who you are meant to be.
Perhaps you have been chosen and your ancestors are waiting for you to step up and fulfill the desires they were unable to fulfill? They will guide and support you every step of the way.
Like sand through the hourglass, these are the days of our life and now is the time to quiet our naysayers, our own voices which repeatedly tell us “NO!” “It’s not possible.” “Get in line!”
Tune into your truth. Your essence. Let’s begin to excavate now.
I am reminded time and time again by my spirit collective that we take ourselves with us wherever we go.
Why not take the best version – the one who marches to the beat of a different drummer?