“Say it loud, say it clear ~ You can listen as well as you hear.”
Do you remember those lyrics from the 1988 song; The Living Years*?
You’ve most likely heard that song a hundred times or more – but did you actually listen to it?
Those lyrics spoke to me then and still speak today. These are the living years. We live in a listen starved society. Beings are craving to be heard.
Think about, if you will, the last time you were in conversation with another person, be it on the telephone or in person. Were you multi-tasking, crossing one or two other tasks off your to-do list?
I know, I know, we live in fast-paced times. Got to have it now, be there now, process it now, complete it now. We barely have time to manage all our day-to-day tasks let alone make time to listen. Oh sure, we listen, but do we hear?
Listening is a lost art. It requires paying attention to the sounds, signs, and story. Of all the interpersonal skills we rely on from decision making, to negotiation and assertiveness, listening, in my opinion, is on the top of the list.
As the pace of our life-style increases, our listening skills have decreased. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We have the power to change our pace and fully engage.
Once upon a time people sat on front porches, at kitchen tables, over lunch, or tea, or a drink and they talked. They talked for hours. And they listened. They were attentive. They were present. They gave and they received. It’s not impossible to return to that life-style.
Since listening is essential to cultivating and nurturing relationships, these simple tips may help you re-engage in conversation and be fully present every time you listen;
- First make the decision to pay attention. Multi-task later when you’re not listening to someone.
- Be fully present and let the other person know you have set aside time for them. If the conversation is in person, look at them, acknowledge them when they speak and just simply listen.
- Let go of preconceived notions, or judgment. You are there to listen and provide support.
- Be patient and inquisitive. I find it amazing how when you listen, especially with empathy, you actually become the other person and begin to experience their challenge.
- Inevitably, by being present and empathetic you will be open to receiving suggestions or guidance from your Divine source. Ask if you may share your ‘downloads’ with the other person.
Give it a go – you have it within to slow down the pace, and listen, truly listen. I am confident we are capable of resurrecting the lost art of listening and creating meaningful conversations– we must only decide to do so. Are you in?
“Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals. (attr to J. Isham)” Sura Hart
* The Living Years by Mike & The Mechanics